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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?